Coming Back

Taken 'rest' for some time.

Feel like giving it a try to get back on track, so work out a few errands and I'm dead tired.
Feel so useless and incapable.

STRESS

Just 'got out' of hospital.
Still feeling a little dizzy at times.

Trying to adjust or rather....reconsider my life style - to be more careful; away from this heavy word : STRESS

To be more precise: is not to stay away (I think no one ever manages to stay away, I assume!) but to manage it well.

I thought all these years I was trained and have managed it quite well.
However, it just secretly sneaked in without I realizing it.
When I found out that I did have some symptoms, it was too late.

I got annoyed just by a little comment or phrase,
even little thing like when my son told me about something happened in school.

I get tired very easily.

I felt lazy to talk;
even avoid answering phone calls because it's annoying to communicate.

More thoughts rolling inside my mind;
more planning working inside my mind to meet the datelines.

Dreamt more often than ever.

Knew that something has gone wrong, trying my best to relax, trying to find something that can amuse myself, but all didn't work.

Then, my blood pressure shot up.........
Wanted to slow down my pace in everything,
following doctor's advice to double up my dosage.....
But this monster has occupied every inch of my body, it kept elevating...
till it was 202/110, I felt like I'm going to die any minute.

Doc said one drug can't get it down, might have to administer one more.
So added one 'Plendil' and a 'Laxotant', demanded to rest.

But everything went hay-wired.
My blood pressure plunged down while my pulse rate racing up to 105/min.
Again, I thought I was going to have a 'cardiac arrest'!
I couldn't breath nor talk;
I felt weak and terrible;
whole body perspiring and shaking due to the fast pulse rate;
numbness all over;
and I thought 'This is it' like Michael Jackson's last song!
But I didn't give up.

I said to God,"Please stay with me, do not abandon me!"
I said to my beloved dad,"Pa, please stay with me and help me!"

And I managed to call for help and was sent to hospital.
I thank God for this.

I am writing all these to share with you all is to mark a 'reminder' for myself
and to all my loved ones.

Sometimes, things just happened, and it can be so fast that you'll never know.

I am learning now; to take my tasks in a manner of not existing my health's limits.
So watch out for yours too!

My Siblings

I have one brother and two sisters.

I didn't grow up with all of them.
Actually, I spent my first 15 years with my eldest sis.
It was like a love-hate relationship at that time; I was blamed for getting all the attention.
However, it didn't leave a trail of bad feelings when we grow up.

My eldest sis joined my parents, brother and younger sis in KL when she was 18; So I was left alone back home with aunts and uncles.

I was brought up in an environment of responsibilities, love and care, in fact, very much protected and strict.
I had quite a tough time in learning to be independent; in a way that no one is 'hurt' and very 'carefully', just to gain enough trust for me to handle my own things!
And.....turn out to be, I'm 'in-charge' of everything now, at home I mean!

It was not easy to go through childhood like this, got a little confused at times.

And now, having my own family, still far away from my siblings but I thank God, my parents and all my old folks for giving me such great and supportive siblings who never fail to stand by me when I needed them.

I hear a lot from my friends talking about their siblings or incidents happen at home.
Sometimes, I find it difficult to understand certain situations that they are in.
They can be rather calculative among themselves at times.
They tend to protect themselves and sacrifice their siblings if the situation only allowed to have one positive side, and so on and so on........

Whew....! Shedding the sweat from my forehead! I'm grateful my siblings are not like that!

Well, apart from our parents, the next closest persons-having blood tie, would have been our siblings before we have any kids.
Isn't it amazing? We should be thankful and treasure these bonds that God and our parents have created for us.
I do. I'm glad that we are so close.
Praying that these bonds last forever as they were meant to be from the beginning.

My dear friends, if you have not been giving your siblings a call, a gift, a hug or just a simple 'hello',
do it now, you are blessed to have siblings!

你的爱是往下流还是反向上？

这几天为了家里的几位老者，忙得不可开交。四位年龄加起来整300岁，家里的药罐与种类排起来也挺像间小药行。

为了他们，无形中我必得学会及懂得一点药物、药性、症状、护理、等等医药知识。

结果，在家里，就被家人取了一个外号叫‘王医生’，是没执照、冒牌的那种。

看护老者，是一件非常吃力及费神的事。他们都是在人生路上走过大半辈子的人；什么都比你老练。和他们相处要很技巧及小心。

何谓技巧？老者说话，你要听。

尽管他说的含糊，你也得猜想他的心思而有所回复或为他办事。因为他们从来都不喜欢直截了当的告诉你他们要的是什么。他们喜欢看你有没有把心思放在他们身上。

而小心呢？那就是虽然他们常为了要你的注意而多做了些小动作；你也不能疏忽或掉以轻心，有时候，那可能是真的申诉；需要给与处理。

和他们相处，让我领悟很多，也得到很多。只是有时候却令我很伤感，久久不能自已。看着他们，我深感岁月的无情。
眼看着他们的健康慢慢的被腐蚀，行动上及其它的障碍令他们终日无所事事。好像剩下来的日子就是重复着吃、睡、痛、这般的循环生活，意义何在呢？我家的老者还好一点，至少还可等我们回来陪吃晚饭、看电视、谈天。有一些老者时间多的是，但是却是在等着最后的那一天。

虽然我是天主教徒，深懂得这个世界上的家是暂时的，最主要得活得有意思。但是对没受过教育、没社交生活、没朋友的老者，这条道理是挺难明了的。

曾经有一位朋友被问起：如果你的妈妈及女儿都患上了肾病而你的肾是非常的适合他们，但是你只能捐出一个，你会捐给谁？这位朋友想也不想的就说当然是捐给我女儿啦！

过后我也把这问题问了几位朋友，答案都是一样。

如著名作者，刘墉先生所说，爱是往下流的。这好像是成了不成文的共识，众所周知，大家都是这般，没人觉得不对或是不妥。必要时，都会把老者牺牲掉。

但是当我想到有一天我变成老者时，也被遗弃遗忘，不被重视或是可以说，如上所述，连生存的权力也会被剥削而自然的被牺牲掉。朋友，你会想到此觉得喉头有股酸酸的涌上来吗？

唉！好好的想想吧！你的爱只是往下流或是还有反向上的呢？

朋友说我跳呼啦圈很性感，你说呢？

小弟练了一段日子，总算有点成绩。不过，只是样子挺有娱乐性的！好好欣赏吧！

是"19岁"还是"46岁"的叛逆期？

向来都觉得只要用心、用爱、用脑、用时间，就能把孩子教好。

结果却是料想不到的！

每个家庭，每个孩子的个案都有所不同，大致上，都是青春期的孩子比较辣手。

当快要告别teenage十来岁时的小伙子及小妮子，普通上都会渐趋成熟，渐渐的稳重起来。

唉！听好呵！我是说：“普通上”！！

我家的个案就不是那个“普通上”的！

孩子19 岁，妈妈46 岁，有时我在怀疑到底是他在叛逆还是我在叛逆？

孩子从小都没给我什么麻烦或是问题。
但是现在却是处于两代间的一个“拉锯战”。

我向来都持着一个概念：
我不会让我的孩子走入歧途。

尤其是现在的道德概念，人文伦理，都有被歪曲的迹象。
堕胎、安乐死、同性恋被合法及大同化。

我会不惜一切代价把他扳回，就算要忍痛把他抛出去尝受苦果也在所不惜。

我会给与自由，一旦出了岔子，我会把自由范围缩小。
越犯越缩，直至有所表现、知道错误而改过和进步。
在性格、品德培养上渐趋成熟。

为了这套教子法，孩子不能明了为什么自己父母不同于别的朋友的父母。

‘为什么别人的父母没问这问那的？’
‘我的朋友去哪儿，和谁去，从来都不需要让父母知道。’

‘为什么别人的父母都让他们的孩子自由上街，没限制几点回家？’

‘我的朋友不够钱用只要开口，父母就会二话不说的把钱汇来。为什么我得解释钱去了哪里？’

屡次我都解释：“好简单，没错，钱是找来用的。但是却要用得当，用得妥。”
钱得来不易，应善用。

更何况，孩子，你还不会赚钱，现在就该学会理财之道。
以后当自己独立时，再也不会是需要钱时，只要伸手，钱就会从天掉下来的。

还有，现在的社会风气，栽培了无数的所谓‘世界仔、世界女’，
孩子，你屡次被骗去钱财，还是不懂得防范。
这也是其中的原因我们要懂得‘钱去了哪里？’

父母要认识你的朋友是因为不想你误交损友，
并不是要干预你交友的权力。

你是学院生，这是你进入社会、成人世界前的最后衝刺。
今天的努力将奠定你以后的作为。

但是如果你的朋友只会吃、喝、玩、乐，
当然他们也会念书，
只可惜把念书的等位排到最后，
游戏在前，
尽量享受大专生涯，
不到考试不温书，
草草能过关就行了的那种的话，
父母是有责任提醒你、给与劝告。

当然，你听不入耳的话，也是你的自由，你的选择。

我有我的管教法，别人的父母也有他们的一套方法。
在比较下，我可是一个严母。

但是我不认同给与充分的自由而不看管就是爱的教育。
我深信只要我的出发点是爱孩子，
就算是孩子恨我也在所不惜。

因为，
终有一天，
孩子一定会长大，
当他走入社会，
走入成人的世界时，
他必定会明白父母的用心。

我等待那一天！

你认同吗？

原住民女佣

这几天，一直忙里忙外的，偶尔坐下静思。

想到我们一直以来都在为印尼女佣头痛，突发奇想。。。。。。，干吗不训练一些穷乡僻壤的原住民女孩来执行这些工作呢？

有一些住在东马遥远的山区，非常的贫困，教育程度也不高。
何不把他们带来城市教导他们简单的家庭劳作，在双薪家庭里代替印尼女佣的地位？

然后，给于薪金加上员工公积金，再在周末给上一天补习班增加知识、认识文字。

对于原住民女孩及本地雇主，这将是一个双赢的局面。

女孩得到工作、收入及学习和进步的机会。

雇主得到服务、免除了不必要的异国文化、担惊受怕、钱财损失、。。。。等等一切请印尼女佣的负面因素。更不用理会移民厅、工作准证、体检。。。。林林种种的麻烦！

我把我的遐想告诉丈夫，说不如搞搞这门生意，该挺有市场！

哈哈哈！他说我是不是午餐吃得有点过饱，想到哪里去了？

把我一下子的唤回现实里来！

我想想，自己为了女佣问题是不是想疯了？

唉，可能吧！