Coming Back

Taken 'rest' for some time.

Feel like giving it a try to get back on track, so work out a few errands and I'm dead tired.
Feel so useless and incapable.

STRESS

Just 'got out' of hospital.
Still feeling a little dizzy at times.

Trying to adjust or rather....reconsider my life style - to be more careful; away from this heavy word : STRESS

To be more precise: is not to stay away (I think no one ever manages to stay away, I assume!) but to manage it well.

I thought all these years I was trained and have managed it quite well.
However, it just secretly sneaked in without I realizing it.
When I found out that I did have some symptoms, it was too late.

I got annoyed just by a little comment or phrase,
even little thing like when my son told me about something happened in school.

I get tired very easily.

I felt lazy to talk;
even avoid answering phone calls because it's annoying to communicate.

More thoughts rolling inside my mind;
more planning working inside my mind to meet the datelines.

Dreamt more often than ever.

Knew that something has gone wrong, trying my best to relax, trying to find something that can amuse myself, but all didn't work.

Then, my blood pressure shot up.........
Wanted to slow down my pace in everything,
following doctor's advice to double up my dosage.....
But this monster has occupied every inch of my body, it kept elevating...
till it was 202/110, I felt like I'm going to die any minute.

Doc said one drug can't get it down, might have to administer one more.
So added one 'Plendil' and a 'Laxotant', demanded to rest.

But everything went hay-wired.
My blood pressure plunged down while my pulse rate racing up to 105/min.
Again, I thought I was going to have a 'cardiac arrest'!
I couldn't breath nor talk;
I felt weak and terrible;
whole body perspiring and shaking due to the fast pulse rate;
numbness all over;
and I thought 'This is it' like Michael Jackson's last song!
But I didn't give up.

I said to God,"Please stay with me, do not abandon me!"
I said to my beloved dad,"Pa, please stay with me and help me!"

And I managed to call for help and was sent to hospital.
I thank God for this.

I am writing all these to share with you all is to mark a 'reminder' for myself
and to all my loved ones.

Sometimes, things just happened, and it can be so fast that you'll never know.

I am learning now; to take my tasks in a manner of not existing my health's limits.
So watch out for yours too!